悼念母亲
作者:美南新闻电视多媒体集团董事长李蔚华
【编者按】每次读到李蔚华董事长悼念母亲的文章,都会泪流满面,感慨万千。一位勤劳勇敢、任劳任怨、注重教育、永不惧降、挑战艰难的慈祥母亲,为家庭、为民族、为国家培养出优秀的人才,永远让人怀念!
星条旗下 长眠帕托马河滨
神游故里 仰天坐视彩云万里奔腾
拼搏终身 平凡中之不平凡人生图腾
何时归来 静待故国河山共谱诗篇
异国飘泊 孩童岁月
慈母菊英女士於农歷丙申猴二零一六年的最后一天在美国华府大妹家中安详离世,我们姐妹六人及家属皆侍候在侧送走她最后一程,首都华盛顿寒意逼人,院裡还微飘雪花,沈静的床前亲友们在佛经哀乐声中哭泣,尤其大姐二姐在近三年日子中日夜陪伴母亲,在芳妹及妹夫瑞礼家中照顾得无微不至。
母亲於一九一九年三月二日生於故乡云南,在她将近一百年之岁月中歷经抗日内战,迁至缅甸、臺湾,直到移居美国, 她胸怀大誌永不认输之坚忍不拔的精神是她一生之缩影,也是我们姐弟妹永远效法之精神支柱。
由於国内战乱父亲已先离乡,就在一个漆黑之夜晚,母亲先早离开她参加的文艺晚会演出,带着大姐二姐及刚满週岁的我,从家乡的稻田中由三位待命中的马夫带路出发,在那丛林高山人烟稀少的滇缅边境中徒行,三匹马力架上的马鞍,我们姐弟三人被挟在竹篮中,歴经千山万水扺达在中缅边境小镇, 和两年未见的父亲重逢。在我有记忆的童年岁月中,我们姐妹是在没有自来水和电力供应的缅北小镇中长大 ,由於父母对教育事业之执着,由她们一手草创之华文学校总算让这群流离异邦的孩童仍然绑繫在华夏文化的烟火中,不忘记我们的根。大姐还常提起我在十一岁时就能勇敢的走上讲臺发表演说,这些都出自母亲之不断鼓励,也证实她的教学生涯善於表达和面对群眾的天生特质 。
海外流落异乡之生活在我们童年生活中记忆仍然是幸福的,我们生活在父母的溺爱中,无法体会到她们在年轻岁月重新面对生活之挑战,语言环境、文化冲击印证了父母之坚强面对艰难生存之毅力。
随着越战之掀起,中南半岛情势急转直下,父亲联繫上了早年跟随他的随护兵,后来跟随国军部队撤到臺湾的田三哥, 他非常坚持要我们迁到宝岛臺湾。这项突如其来的邀请震撼了我们全家,对父母而言,已到中年又要转移人生阵地绝对是件无比重大之抉择,经过多次“家庭会议”,我们决定在田三哥之努力安排下顺利回到臺湾。
逃难求生 宝岛生活
六〇年代的臺湾,我们全家住在臺北近郊的新店,隣居左右多半说臺语,父母同样面临语言障碍无法沟通,经田三哥之 排我们搬到中壢,和大部分从家乡云南回到臺湾的乡亲住在一起,父母早年曾任公职及教师,也曾多次想在公家及学校谋职但皆未成功,尤其父亲年轻时已少年得志,不但善於书法, 并且学富五车,此时又迁移新境,甚感有志难伸,心情之鬱闷可想而知,但是母亲却可放下身段,每天穿梭在百尺见方的小客厅𥚃做起小生意,為这个新家撑起半边天。当年我已经在大学上一年级,记得当年大一新生到桃园石门水库郊游,母亲烹调了一锅红烧鸡腿要我带去和同学共享,我坚持不肯,我深切了解家境困苦,这锅美食会增加许多负担,但是母亲还是把这锅佳餚亲自送来,虽然此事离今已久,我始终就可体认妈妈要為我在同学面前争面子,不管如何艰难,她都要给子女们得到别人的尊重,不要让别人认為我们是穷孩子。母亲的这锅红烧鸡腿给予我巨大的冲击,回家后我们母子坐在窄小的客厅𥚃, 我对妈说:“妈,我们真的不能穷。” 我们激动的相拥而泣 。
永不惧降 挑战艰难
大学一年级我在学校登记暑假工读生,非常幸运分配到中国广播公司新闻组实习,我当时已经下定决心要全心努力抓住 机会,不论是和老记者们出去採访或在编译室𥚃学习翻译外电新闻,都苦下功夫,当年记者们的录音设备非常重 ,我一定是马上去背起来绝不让老记者们担心,每天除了做老记者的跟 班,就在编译室学译稿。公司内外都非常惊讶為何来了一位勤 奋的小子,就在中广新闻组改组為新闻部时,我立即自告奋勇 地向黎董事长自我推荐在暑期实习过后留任 ,他当时看我一眼, 说:“你大学未毕业,这和人事制度不敷,不过我觉得你这年轻人十分勤劳勇敢”,他随手把一张英文报之新闻要我当场翻译,半小时内我把英文新闻立即译成中文。黎董大感吃惊, 他笑着对我说,我们破例试用你半年,以编辑助理资格任用, 当时这个天大的喜讯让我喜极而泣,就如汪洋大海中找到一支独舟。
我立即把这项喜讯报告远在中壢的父母亲,他们真不敢相信当年未满二十岁的我能进入广播公司工作,以后的日子我被分派在晚班工作,每晚下班已在午夜一点之后,也无法回到木栅政大宿舍,数年间都借宿在二姐夫家,由於晚上入睡已近清晨,大早之课程也经常迟到或旷课,多亏同班女同学之拔刀相,助借抄笔记勉强通过各科考试,对我而言经济问题之改善,让我更加体会到週遭环境之大变化,由於新闻工作上之机会,我也能成為臺北上流政经社会之常客,常常到立法院去参加许多国民外交活动,对於这份天赐我也之工作更是加倍努力,远住中壢的父母常常在傍晚带着我最爱的家乡辣椒来公司探望我。
我总是坚持把她们送到臺北车站,在月臺上目睹她们步行在拥挤的月臺上,不断回头找寻我的身影,此情此景已成踪影, 母亲的厨艺深烙在我心坎,其中父母最感欣慰的是她们逐渐从失落不安之新环境得到新希望,弟妹们也逐渐在各方面表现优异,李家的孩子被同乡隣居另眼相看,时至今日,我们全家能够迁至臺湾首先感恩田三哥之安排,更感谢政府对侨民之优惠及照顾。
大学毕业后我继续在中广公司工作了近二年,最后还是决定出国留学,有天我走进董事长办公室向他辞行,他拍了我的肩膀微笑地说:“小伙子,你是应该到美国去学习,以你吃苦耐劳之精神会成功的。”董事长之溢美鼓励我向这位提携后进的恩人鞠躬致谢告辞后走出仁爱路三段的红砖道上,我拭去泪 水,这块曾经是我筑梦的土地,有太多我要感恩的人。
美国公民 安享晚年
七十年代初期,我首先踏上征途来到美国旧金山,又是人生另一重大转折,父母亲每週之家书成為我精神最大支柱,不论环境如何艰难,我都是定期回报平安,多年后, 我在美国重操旧业回到媒体之路,先后和姐弟妺们在全美创建美南新闻媒体集团发行遍及全美十大城市包括报业、电视、黄页、网站、 新媒体,母亲在父亲过世之后迁居美国, 先后在达拉斯、休斯 敦、华盛顿、芝加哥等地居住在姐弟妹家中。二十年前,我和好友谢坤增兄到达拉斯為新成立之美南银行觅新行址,母亲还亲自下厨為我们準备了一桌云南家乡佳餚,至今难忘,她也是达拉斯日报之最忠实读者,尤其是有关我们弟妹们之新闻图片都剪下收藏,十年前,年逾八旬的她幸运地通过公民考试成為美国公民,有次我陪她到休斯敦华裔老人公寓拜访,走在公寓的长廊上,我牵着妈手,迎面来了一位长辈,她问母亲“这是妳儿子?”她说“是啊。”那位老人翘起大姆指,当时妈妈对着我露出非常满足的微笑,事隔多年,这幕亲情传递代表了多 少岁月累积的辛酸和甜美。
书香门第 重访故里
九五年秋天, 母亲和我们姐妹回到了云南龙陵县龙山镇外婆老家 ,由於外公是清代举人书香门第之家, 大院𥚃仍然住着表哥全家 ,当我们的座车抵达时, 近百位乡亲已齐集在外婆家的大院𥚃 ,许多年长白髮人是当年妈妈的学生, 都说赵老师回来了。
母亲回家后见到四十年未见的立国表兄,激动得相拥而泣, 表哥指着大院左角上的阁楼说 :“这就是老孃(即母亲) 住过的卧室。”妈妈凝视着这间外公外婆留下的祖產, 多少令人难予置信的青春岁月已经淹没在歷史之洪流中。 在当晚龙陵县长的欢迎晚宴上, 他向在座乡亲们介绍说:“这是当年我们县城𥚃多才多艺的赵老师 ,和她同行的是当年我们龙山镇镇长李仁先生也是赵老师长公子, 美国美南传媒集团老总李蔚华先生。”母亲在当晚宴席上不断询问昔日老友学生近况, 泰半她同辈的都已去世, 她的许多学生也是年过古稀 。她的谈话充满了惋伤,也流露了近乡情𨚫的感情 。
回到外婆家的路上,我们的座车行经当年的滇缅公路,如 今已成广阔的国道, 母亲指着旁边的山丘说:“ 那裡就是我们当年马夫等我们的地点。”
我注视着母亲的表情,无言以对.......
人生之路了无憾矣
三年前母亲福体渐弱,走动不易,大妹把她送到华盛顿小妹家疗养,大姐更是全天侯侍候在旁,二姐、姐夫、小妹 、妹 夫、弟弟们都经常探访,并常在座轮椅上游遍东部各大城市, 也嗜尽中西美食,每当弟妹们付账单时,她总会问多少钱,也是她早年曾经面临生活之拮据养成的节省美德之表现 。
大妹夫妇近年在华府近郊Potomac市购置四英亩大之庄园,该地位处华盛顿首都郊区,是眾多参眾议员及部会首长官邸在地,母亲经常到访,在若大的绿地树䕃下含飴弄孙。
今天波多码河畔之细雨,让我想起二十五年前我和着弟走在华府中国城送报之日子,当天大雪纷飞聚雪甚深,我们在无比艰辛的环境中不断奋力前进,这股力量来自母亲给予的精神感动及支持,我们不能穷,童年时之窘境造就我们不向命运低头之毅力,今天我们在美国这个伟大的土地上有幸在媒体及金融事业上创造一番事业,成為多元族裔对国家做出贡献,涵盖全美十大城市之读者,观眾和我们沟通交流,这份神圣的媒体事业,姐妹弟兄及家人之共同努力,让我们在海外发光,也為海外传媒事业留下歷史的一页。
最高奖章 共享荣耀
2015 年十一月七日,美南新闻传媒集团在美国德州休斯敦太空体育舘举办了纪念二战结束七十週年大会,超过二万五千名各族裔及各国政要退役老兵参加,会后得到美国总统奥巴马及国会眾议院颁发奖状,非常遗憾母亲已不良於行无法参加盛会。接获奖状后,我把它裱框后带到华府大妹家𥚃,送到母亲床前,和她分享这份极高之荣誉,她凝视并不断抚摸这份镶金边的奖状,此时我又再次俯在她身上哭了。 这个至高荣誉是因為母亲间接赐予的,如果不是她当年英勇的决定,相信我们家人之命运一定会被改写。
今夜是母亲走后的头七,她走过无数的平凡中的不平凡, 包括好友国会议员格林,马利兰州州长,美国参议员都颁发褒扬令,并将一面曾在国会飘扬过的美国国旗覆盖棺上。
母亲请妳好走,我们永远铭记妳的音容,因為妳是那麼伟大……
二〇一七年三月二十九日
My Mother
Wea Lee Chairman of Southern News Group in Houston
Mom you are sleeping at the bay of Potomac river under nation star flag You are watching blue sky and colorful rainbow Your life accomplishment in ordinary with extraordinary We will cheerful eulogized your journey and celebrating your full life Dear Mom please keep you smile.
Mom passed away on the last day of the 2017 Chinese Lunar New Year in Washington, D.C. at my sister's house. All of our six sisters and brother were at her bedside. It was a chilly cold day in D.C. with snow on the door with the chanting of Buddhist music in the air. We all cried. We were so grateful that in last three years of mom's life my sister had taken such good care of her.
Our Mom was born on March 2, 1919, in our hometown of Yunan, China. Her life took her through World War II and the Chinese civil war. She moved from our hometown and went to Burma and Taiwan until she settled down in America. Because of her strong will and never give up attitude, she became our role model.
When the Chinese civil war started in China, my dad went to the neighboring country of Burma and left mom and us small kids at home. After two years my mom made an excuse to leave a school music performance early for which she was teacher. In the dark of one evening there were three horses and a keeper waiting for us in a rice field.
My two sisters and I were able to ride on the horse with our young mother and traveled through the high mountains and rivers between the China and Burma border. After one week of a difficult journey, we finally arrived at a small town at the Chinese border and held a joyful reunion with our father who had already been gone two years earlier.
For many years of our early teenage times we lived in a small town without running water or electricity. Because my parents were teachers in China, they started to organize a local Chinese school to teach all the local refugee Chinese kids Chinese. One of their goals was to be sure the kids didn't forget that we were of Chinese descent. When we joined the local school my sister told me that I was so brave to get up on the stage to make a speech when I was just 11 year old. I also believe that I learned that kind of performance from my mom. She was such a great teacher and could always talk in front of large crowds.
When we were young kids we had many happy times and never even thought about the impact for our parents as they were facing language and culture challenges in a different country.
Once the Vietnam war started in Southeast Asia, the situation in Burma worsened.
One day my parents received a letter from my father's former bodyguard. My brother Tien had followed Chiang Kai-shek and had gone to Taiwan. He insisted on applying for an entry permit for us to go to Taiwan because the situation was getting bad in the region. When we got his message, my parents were facing another big challenge in their lives. After a family meeting we decided to accept Brother Tien's invitation to move to Taiwan.
In the late 1960's, Taiwan was under military rule andaccepting U.S. aid. When our whole family settled down in a Taipei suburb town of Hsing Dian my parent did not speak the Taiwanese language. Still facing the language barrier, Brother Tien suggested that we move to the town of Chung Li where there were a lot of residents who had moved there from our hometown in Yunnan province. My dad wanted to find a job in the government or school, but he was out of luck simply because of his age and background couldn't go through the exam or pass the security check for employment. He was very depressed. He remembered the old days when he was just 24 years old when he became the head of a township and was provided with a bodyguard. Dad was also very talented in both Chinese calligraphy and literature and he felt his life didn't fit well in the local society. This caused him to never smile again. In the meantime, my mom's thinking was very different. She started a small bookstore in our small house's living room. Facing the family's living problem, she was very strong in finding ways to survive.
By that time I was a freshman at the local university. One day I told my mom that we should have a picnic at the Sherman reservoir which was not too far from our home. She suggested that we get stewed chicken legs for the party, but I strongly refused because I knew the family's poor situation and we couldn't afford such a luxurious dish. Without my knowledge, mom sent the food to the picnic anyway. The whole class enjoyed her cooking. The reason she did it was because she didn't want my classmates to look down on me as being a poor family kid. On that day when I returned home we were sitting in our small family room, and I told her, "Mom, we really can't be poor." I hugged her and we both shed our tears together.
When the summer time came, I immediately applied for a summer job. Very fortunately, I accepted a job at the China Broadcasting company as an intern. I made a strong decision that day to start to make money for myself and support my whole family. At that time, a radio station was a highly respected place to work. On my first day I was instructed to work with a reporter to get news from around the town. Right off I saw that the reporters had a very heavy tape recorder so I volunteered to carry it for them. When we came back to the radio station, I also volunteered to join the newsroom and try to learn how to translate English wire news into Chinese. Very soon a lot of people knew that I was bearing hardships and was still a hardworking young man.
When the summer that year was almost over, the timing was just right for me when the company wanted to expand the news department into a bigger organization. Without a doubt, my time had come. One afternoon I walked in the General Manager's office and asked to see him, but the secretary told me that I didn't have an appointment. I told her that I was an intern and because this was his final day, I wanted to say goodbye to him. She replied coolly to me and said, “You might want to wait.” So I decided to stay in the waiting room. About one hour later, the General Manager walked into the office. He looked at me and said, “Hello young man, what do you need?” I told the General Manger that I wanted to have job in the news department if possible. He replied to me, “You are so young - you are not even a college graduate. How can we hire you? But some colleague has told me you are a very diligent young man. Let's do it this way- can you translate this English paper into Chinese? Let me give you this test.” One half hour later I presented him the translation. He looked at it and smiled and told the secretary tolet me work in the newsroom as an assistant to the copy editor for six months as a temporarily job. I bowed my head at 90 degrees and ran to a phone booth in the street to report this big and exciting news to my mom. I immediately picked up the telephone and called my parents with the great news. I cried into the phone, ” This is my first money making job and it feels like I am getting a boat ride into the big ocean.” They just couldn't believe that I was only 19-years old and could get a job with a radio station.
I started my work on the night shift which was from eight to one o'clock in the morning. By the time I got off work, I really couldn't go back to the university because it was too far away. So I stayed at my sister's home in Taipei City. When I woke up in the morning, many times it was too late to attend class but I was fortunate to have had a classmate who help me take her class notes and let me copy it. In such difficult times, I was very lucky to pass the exam, but in the meantime because the salary I received improved the whole situation for myself as well as for my family. Because of my news reporter status, I was able to join a lot of Taipei high society activities such like Legislative Yuan (Taiwan's Congress). I loved my job not because of financial reasons, but because of the people I met in my life.
Almost every month my parents came to Taipei to visit me with delicious home cooked meal. When they returned, I always sent them to the Taipei rail station. Seeing them get on the train and looking at the blue sky, I felt the times had changed for us. My parents also felt there was a brighter future for the Lee family. The neighbors also changed their attitudes and now looked up to our family. My sister and brother were also performing well in school. There was hope now that our lives were changing for the better. And we wanted to show appreciation to our half brother Tien who gave us his assistance so that the government would treat our family as overseas Chinese while giving us all kind of benefits. After five years of working for the radio station, I decided to go to America. But before I left, I went to see my boss, president Lee, to say good bye. He held my arm and said to me, "Young man you should go to America. Your hard-working spirit will make you a success." He knew how much I appreciated his assistance which really changed my whole life. I gave him another deep bow, and with tears I walked through the beautiful Taipei streets. This was the place I had build my dreams upon and so many people had helped me in my struggling times.
In the early 70's when I arrived at my first American city, San Francisco, I started another big journey in my life. My parents' weekly letter became one of the most important "comforts" to me. No matter how busy, I always replied them and told them how beautiful of this land was. In 1979, we started a newspaper business with my wife and brother and sister. Today, our media business includes newspapers, television, yellow pages and new media that are published in 10 cities cross America. My mom left Taiwan after my dad passed away and came to the U.S. and lived in Dallas, Houston. Chicago, and Washington, DC with the family for 20 years. When my old friend Ted Hsieh and I visited Dallas to look for Southwestern Bank's new site, Mom cooked very delicious home cooking meals for us. She paid very close attention to our daily newspaper published in the Dallas area and she kept all the news clippings about me and my brother and sister going back ten years. She was very fortunate to have passed the exam to become U S citizen. One day when we were visiting her friend in the seniors apartment in Houston, Texas, we met a resident in the hallway. She asked my Mom, “Is he your son?” She replied, “Yes.” The elder lady raised her thumb and said, “Very good.” Mom smiled and look at me with that smile that represented the past huge, bitter and miserable mellifluous times of our lives.
In the early 1990's, we made a journey back to our hometown of Yunnan Long Ling China.
My grandpap was a Ju.ren Scholar. This was a very educated and prestigious family. When we arrived at the big family compound, hundreds of relatives and Mom's former student were lined up to welcome us. Mom was so moved, she hugged everybody. With tears in her eyes, she pointed to her teenage bedroom. In the main yard in the evening, there was a welcoming party for us. The local mayor introduced my mom as the most beautiful and talented teacher going back in time forty years before.
On the way back to Grandpap's old house we passed a beautiful state highway. Mom pointed her finger to a place in a rice field and said to me that that was the site where three horses had waited for us to take us away. I was silent and reflected on how life may have been if we hadn't passed safely through the mountains.
Three years ago Mom's health has worsened we moved her to Washington, DC. to my young sisterin-law Ray and Jing's house where my elder sister Lily and Shin took care of her around the clock. Even in her wheelchair, they were able to take her to visit New York, Boston and other nearby cities. They went to the best restaurants around town wherever they went. Every time she ate dinner she always asked my sister how much did you pay? This was because mom experienced so much hardship in her young life she wanted us to still be so frugal.
Then, a couple years of ago, Ray and Jing bought a Villa with four acres of land in suburban D.C. on the Potomac River. It was a beautiful city where many senators, congressmen and high-ranking government officials live. Mom visited with friends there and spent joyful times with her grandkids.
One night I recall on the bay of the Potomac river there were bright lights with snow everywhere. I remember that I was with my brother Dan who had delivered our newspaper to Washington, DC Chinatown. Suddenly, a heavy snow started falling on the ground. I told Dan that no matter how hard we need to finish our work, mom always told us that WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP. Today we are very proud to be in this great land and to be able to create a media and financial business and to be part of great society. Our publication and media service now reach millions of readers and viewers. And we also represent a new chapter of diversity in our community. This fruitful business has been created through hard work of diligent family members along with the ever-present spirit of my mom.
In November 7, 2015, Southern News Group hosted the Celebration of the End of World War II at Houston's Minute Maid Park. With more than 25,000 attendees that huge event represented our nation's diverse community and was attended by many veterans, politicians, elected officials and members of Congress. Regrettably, Mom couldn't make it to the event. After the event, we received a community service award from the U.S. House of Representatives and President Obama. I brought the golden frame award to my Mom's bedside. She touched it and gazed at the award. My tears just dropped down my face. We are so thankful for my mom's brave and courageous decision so many years ago. Otherwise, all of our family's life would be so much different.
Today, 49 days after Mom has left us, my extraordinary brother Congressman Al Green presented us with a U.S. flag that had flown over the United States capital, and the governor of Maryland, Larry Hogan and U.S. senator Van Holden sent condolence messages along with proclamations.
Mom, please keep your happy life in heaven. All of us remember you. You are an honored citizen of the great nation of the United States of America.